Parents are our first friends. Ghanaian parents could be like the tides of the sea. They are sometimes friendly and welcoming, other times, they make children feel they were a storm that approached their lives.
It’s easy to understand why a parent would wish a child did just what they wanted. That they’ve fed you, clothed you, catered well for you. Even in the most challenging times, they had to work extra hard to make you comfortable. Clap for parents.
It’s unbelievable some parents actually have the notion that they’ve heavily invested in a child. Apparently, they seek to earn interest like some fixed deposit in the bank, or like some heavy package from an investment. Well, that’s not bad. At all.
Mistake number one.
Whenever Ghanaian parents are quick to benefit from a child’s success, there are huge problems caused. Not ruling out the fact that some children are unbelievably ungrateful, despicably forgetful of their parents unflinching diligence to their God-given duty, inversely, it is dangerous for parents to assume their children are being stingy.
In conversations with so many young people, it’s their heavenly dream to someday build their parents a mansion or buy them their dream car. If only every parent would believe in the power of time and carefully commit themselves to encouragement and prayer.
After they have exerted pressure on the kids to be forcefully successful, and compared them to almost every other parent’s successful kids.
The demons of low self esteem, abamdonment and sadness floods their lives. Now children have to resort to sakawa, fraudulent acts, drug peddling and prostitution. Sad.
Maybe parents should just take it easy.
We know how you love to see your children wedded. How you’ld love it when we bring our darling spouses to you and you give us your final blessing.
Then again, for the ladies there’s a different twist. Until you hear the tales of what some mothers do to see their children married, you wouldn’t see this as relevant in a mistake category.
Stories have been told where parents would not accept any financial aid from a successful child who hasn’t married. Others wouldn’t even communicate with them. Some mothers would visit prayer camps, prophets, fetish priests and fortune tellers to speak on their children’s marital dreams.
The child succumbs to the pressure.
Three months after, the girl married a fraud. Or, she has found out the guy is impotent. Or, the lady has cheated on him. Sometimes they are just not compatible and the marriage won’t last. Sometimes it’s got to with issues of abuse, mistrust, identity crisis and ugly quarrels.
You’ll see how parent become apologetic and start to find ways to make the marriage work. They make it seem as though you’ve made wrong choices all your life. Most marriages haven’t lasted because of pressures from home. Some people would have to go through four marriages and endure four divorces before they discover the ‘right rib’.
Maybe parents should take it easy. They’ll get wedded eventually. Unless there’s of course a child who has already professed to being eternally celebate or an ordained narcissistic. You could give those a try.
Visit tomorrow as I discuss mistake 3,4 and 5.
Photo credit: http://mhscatsclaw.weebly.com/opinion/may-07th-2015